I Did It Thai Way

by

Paul Woodward

The first thing you notice in any town in Thailand is the sheer amount of mopeds on the streets, going up and down them or parked on the side of the road. The next is the amount of people they carry, three is the norm with women passengers riding side-saddle. At school kicking out time it is common to see Dad driving, Mum riding side-saddle with a baby in her arms and a couple of kids squeezed on where they will fit. There are also moped taxis with the driver wearing a blue helmet and a green vest. These also carry two passengers as the are equipped with two sets of rear foot-pegs.

                     
             Lady hiring a moped Taxi                              Moped taxi has two rear foot-pegs

 Also seen, a man on a moped eating something out of a bowl while the passenger drove from behind, man passenger talking on mobile phone while small child drove and a man driving with one hand while carrying a huge ladder on his shoulder. Nobody seemed to take any notice, least of all the police on traffic patrol.

They learn to ride young

After a couple of days watching these antics Julia and I decided we would hire a bike as we wanted to go into the jungle and up the mountains and this would be the best way to travel.
 I didn't want a moped and although big bikes on the road are rare, it didn't take long before I found a 750 cruiser for hire at the princely sum of £5 for the day. Beware, there is no insurance and they take your passport as the deposit. For extra enjoyment read the small print in the hire agreement. With clauses that read, “when you make brocken tyre you much the tyre with yourself”, you get the idea of what you are up against.
 I decided against the traditional riding clothes of just shorts and sandals and wore boots and jeans, but it was far too hot to wear a jacket. I did wear a helmet though, which was a flimsy plastic thing, the type you would buy a child as a toy. It is law that in the day the driver (only the driver) must wear a helmet, but at night you don't have to wear a helmet (nor have lights, so it seemed).
 After the agreement was made, we climbed aboard and set off. Driving is done on the left hand side of the road and most road signs are in English as well as Thai. Undertaking is positively encouraged and Thai mopeds can squeeze through the smallest of gaps so you have to watch both sides continuously. There are speed limits but no cameras and the police only have mopeds themselves, but they do have guns. The traffic lights are the same as ours and I couldn't understand when I stopped at red why other traffic kept on going. In Thailand, a red traffic light means stop unless you think it is safe to continue!
Riding through town was a nightmare with traffic coming at you from all sides but once out into the countryside with the sun beating down on you it was perfect. There isn't much traffic on the country roads but you do have to watch out for elephants and water buffalo wandering on the roads. Every so often you would see what looked like nappies hanging on washing lines, which were in fact, sheets of rubber drying in the sun after being tapped from the rubber trees early in the morning.

                                       Q: How many condoms from a sheet of rubber?  
                                            A: 1 (for an elephant)

We spent a glorious day riding through the jungle, up mountains and along the coast before being caught in a monsoon on the way back, but at least the rain was hot.